Most of my childhood was spent with people who behaved as though children could be spoiled by love. They believed that the world was cold and cruel, so every weakness and flaw was poked at, in a measure to “toughen’ me up and prepare me to face that awful world. Kind words were rarely spoken, because they believed I would not find kindness in the world.
Another part of my childhood was spent with someone who lavishly loved me, nicknamed me “Princess”, and did everything possible to make me happy, make me feel special, and let me know I was loved.
Unfortunately, I carried the warm memories, but lived the cold behaviors into my adulthood.
I lived a form of Love Rationing. I spent a lot of time correcting flaws, mine and others’, and gave very little love and appreciation. After all, I had so little inside me that I believed if I gave it away, I would have none at all.
Even when I did say nice things, I came across as inauthentic. I didn’t have the authentic yummy inside me, so there really wasn’t much authentic yummy to give away.
Eventually, the warm memories inspired me to seek change in my life.
Yesterday, I found a note from a seminar. A single line on a large piece of paper. That line is worthy. It says:
They cannot be over-watered
We are not fruit that can spoil. We are not plants that will drown. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We cannot be spoiled by love. We cannot drown in love, at least, not in a bad way.
Love nourishes. Love builds up the body, mind, soul, & spirit. Love understands. Love soothes. Love heals.
There is no such thing as too much love.
And, there is absolutely no reason to ration love, because love expands as it is released.
If you are like me, you may want a little proof of this. Here’s an experiment to try. (I recommend trying it on plants, animals, inanimate objects, or children under 5 years old. Start with the easy stuff! Also, it’s easier to see the results if you start on something that doesn’t “give back” in an apparent way.)
Step One: Check in to your current Love Level. Just notice (maybe on a scale of 1-10) how full of Love you are.
Step Two: Choose something you really like. It may be a thought, a thing, or a being. We’ll call it your Love Object.
Step Three: Sit with your Love Object. Just sit with it for a few moments, focusing on whatever it is that you enjoy about it.
Step Four: Begin to tell your Love Object everything that you love about it.
Step Five: Check in to the area of your heart. Notice how it feels. Practice letting that area expand. You may notice a stretching sensation, and it may even be uncomfortable at first. Breathe! The exhale is the body’s natural way of releasing tension and discomfort.
Step Six: Return your focus to your Love Object. Continue to allow your Love to flow to your Love Object until you feel complete with the exercise.
Step Seven: Check in to your current Love Level and enjoy the expansion.
Repeat the process as often as you desire. When you feel really comfortable with it, you may even want to try it on other people!
Love does not need to be rationed. It is infinite and inexhaustible. Give it away and you will find even more in your life.
“There is no such thing as too much love. And, there is absolutely no reason to ration love, because love expands as it is released.”
Very very very true Joanna.
And the first things I was capable of doing your 7 steps type of opening up with was with animals a few years ago, the dogs or cats I encountered on my walks or my travels. They were safe.
And it works.
And now I can do it a little on my blog too wth other bloggers I like:)
Or with people I meet briefly that I’m not afraid of or intimidated by.
Learning to love freely takes time and practice, a reparenting:)
So true!
I’m so glad you are taking the time to be gentle with you, and practicing on those you can trust! Hooray for you!
Much love to you, Sweet One!